Desmond and Guido
Blind Man and Guide Imp
Field Value Full Name Desmond of Zdénj and Guido Alias Gender Male (Desmond) Age Unknown World Penelope’s World Occupation Agent Status Desmond deceased; Guido alive Role Participant Team Hateful Eight Edition Crab 3 Creator
JNFJEIF DESSUMOOOOOON!!!.
Desmond and Guido are participants of Crab 3, working for the team Hateful Eight. He is a blind man using a card-summoning device in his arm to battle, and his loyal and uohable bratty guide imp gal ToT.
Appearance
Personality
Desmond is a reasonable individual, showing sharpness and experience in the field. He tends to lose his patience to Guido’s antics. Desmond chooses his battles carefully and knows when to surrender.
Guido acts as his guide and pointer, showing herself to be rather overly confident and smug at times. She is easily frustrated when bested and lashes out with a chihuahua-like ferocity.
They both seem to have, despite their constant bickering, an effective relationship.
Powers and Abilities
Using the gauntlet on his arm and cards, Desmond is able to summon different effects. A Blue card used during his Round 1 allowed him to Launch Guido at incredible speed, able to outmaneuver a standing gun. A Green card created a chain ending with a fist, with which he could punch and grab at opponents. Through pulling a lever from his device, he is able to access a mode that allows him to see the souls of things, granting him a very limited form of vision. Other effects involve creating a sword, or even duplicates of his weapons.
The gauntlet is however alive and will consume Desmond continuously the more he falls into the depths of despair, ultimately taking over him and becoming an abomination. This is shown to be the reason he lost his sight.
Guido has the ability to fly, and unlike Desmond, she also possesses the ability to see. Don’t laugh at it until you lose it. She is very analytical of her surroundings, being able to paint her partner a perfect picture of guards surrounding them during their attack on Centuria. Her claws are sharp enough to easily cut through a gun like butter.
Background
History
Round 1
LOVE (won, entry) vs Desmond and Guido (lost, entry) in Gathering Allies. Match page: C3 R1 - LOVE vs Desmond and Guido
Desmond and Guido joined the Horde, while LOVE joined the Forest Alliance.
In Desmond’s reality, he and Desmond infiltrated Overgrown, a city of the Empire, beating up the guards patrolling it and stealing their armor and ID cards. They were soon ambushed by Forest Forces, though it was revealed Desmond had been sent as part of an alliance between the Horde and the Forest (though betrayal seemed the end goal). Showing the Captain the new forcefield-equipment the Empire had developed, the elf woman devised a plan to deactivate this imperial advantage through the use of LOVE acting as an explosive, with Desmond and Guido serving as escorts for the bunny girl (to which they desperately denied being from the Horde) - however they were soon interrupted by an imperial attack.
In LOVE’s canon reality, LOVE was wondering how to fulfill her request of gathering allies, when she came across Desmond and Guido. Not knowing what exactly to do with them without failing her duty, she decided to create copies of them (Damian and Gooey) to fight them and confidently left. While the two duos fought, LOVE went on to establish an alliance with more elves - yet she was interrupted when she began to bleed due to Desmond and Guido winning the fight. Shocked at first, LOVE ended up expressing great joy in the idea of finally being at risk during this tournament.
Round 2
Desmond and Guido (lost) vs Alicade Tredecima (won) in Yokai. Match page: C3 R2 - Desmond and Guido vs Tredecima
Having drunk the Kemono potion (turning Guido human and Desmond into a cat) the duo faced empress Tredecima who took the aging potion.
In the duo’s reality, they were chased by Tredecima through a forest, with Guido carrying the cat Desmond in her arms. Ultimately, Tredecima caught up with them - however, the Empress had no designs to destroy them and instead used them as bait in order to deal with an exorcist giving them chase.
In Tredecima’s canon reality, the duo was being chased by a skeleton yokai before being saved by Soren. Soren (actually a Tredecima in disguise) led them away from the creature, towards Tredecima. Ultimately realizing the trap, Guido let go of Soren’s hand, but found herself trapped by both the skeleton creature and Tredecima - and in the distraction, the leader of Ultraviolent grabbed and brutally devoured the girl - ended up eating the cat Desmond as well, and creating Tredecima versions of them.
After this, Desmond had a chance to survive through letting himself be overtaken by the gauntlet, but he let go and ultimately died - while Guido survived.
After Crab 3
Desmond remained dead. Guido went on to become a commentator for post Crab content, writing “Lenard: A Thesis on A Bat’s Fluffyness”, a much celebrated essay. She is seen being picked by Cheras in Kome’s epilogue, as one of the few Hateful Eight surviving members.
Relationships
Life Within CRAB
It is said Desmond and Mr Overkill knew each other from before the tournament, and had a relationship.
It was a popular pastime at CRAB to organize games of launching or capturing Guido, which she hated.
Gallery
Gallery
Trivia
- Guido should have been a Brat Pack member.
- This article is bad because all Desmond and Guido content was DELETED from the server. Come on man.
Source
Text: CRAB WIKI, Desmond of Zdénj and Guido (revision 1776, 2025-02-09; by Fresbi)
Pictures: Two.png, uploaded to the wiki by Fresbi
Edited by: G
Licence: text CC BY-SA 4.0; characters, comics and art belong to their creators
