Fernando
The Last Human
Field Value Full Name Fernando Alias Gender Male Age 8 World ”The One Man Show” Occupation Circus Clown Status Alive (returned home) Role Participant Team Terrible Troupe Edition Crab 2 Creator
FUCK YOU!!
Fernando is a participant of Crab 2, joining the Team Terrible Troupe. He is a mute human clown/entertainer who, in his world, believes and prides himself to be the last of his species.
Appearance
Personality
Fernando is a bit of a psycho and will not hesitate to stab you. He also enjoys the spotlight the most, and gets murderous if he loses it against someone else.
He can hide his emotions and pretend to attack in treason like acting friendly to Janny to stab him or seemingly being nice to the Gamemaster just to tell him off.
Powers and Abilities
Fernando is highly trained as a circus performer and athletic. He can perform great feats of athleticism, balance himself with ease, do great jumps, etc.
His weapon of choice is the knife - both for throwing with impeccable accuracy or to stab others with it. He is shown having as well any other clown gadgets such as rope, an explosive cigarette, etc. Fernando is well versed in gambling as well and can play with human psychology.
Background
History
Recruitment
Fernando was captured by the Gamemaster and introduced to his team.
Round 1
Fernando (won, entry) vs Louis (lost, entry) in Surfing. Match page: C2 R1 - Fernando vs Louis
Fernando pushed Louis’s head into the waves in order to win.
Round 2
Fernando (lost, entry) vs Penelope (won, entry, part 2) in Gambling. Match page: C2 R2 - Fernando vs Penelope
In France, Fernando put on the hat while Penelope became an old man Percival with the gender elixir and age potion.
Fernando and Penelope had a game of chance - although she won, she ended up blowing her brains with it.
Because of both Turtloli and Scrimblo being late, [Gamemaster sent [Bodycount] to kill one of them with a cointoss]. Fernando interceded in defense of Turtloli and did the cointoss himself… but lost. However, Nathan appeared to save both the competitors and Fernando. They were all eaten, but ultimately managed to pop out of the doll as the Gamemaster was confusing the bulges of their swallowed bodies with boobs.
Round 3
Janitor (won, entry) vs Fernando (lost, entry). Match page: C2 R3 - Janitor vs Fernando
In Fernando’s reality, Fernando was delighted in having an audience, seeing the match as a show. Janitor put his cigarette out on the clown’s shoulder, commenting how Fernando had avoided being killed by Bodycount that day. The fight then began, but before Fernando could pull out his dagger Janny disarmed him with his broom, then grabbed his wrist and pulled him closer (they had a gay moment). Fernando then got angered and pulled the broom, hitting Janny with it and cornering his opponent at the edge of the arena. Janitor then offered Fernando one last smoke before being defeated: the clown accepted, then made a magic trick of pulling a cigarette from the Janitor’s ear. Amused, the Janitor lit it up and commented Fernando was alright and that it was a shame both would die - and the cigarette interrupted him by exploding and defeating him. Smug and seemingly victorious, Fernando took a puff of the cigarette Janny offered - only to find out it was poisoned and falling as well, ending the match in a draw.
In the Janitor’s canon reality, meeting at the arena Janitor told Fernando he had no interest in winning, there was nothing to win from CRAB, and although Fernando probably deserved the victory for appreciating life more there was no real trophy to have for it. He offered Fernando to take the victory and leave, although he surmised there was no escape from the Bucket and likely Bodycount would kill him if he attempted one. Fernando offered them a handshake, but when Janny took his hand, attempted to stab his opponent with a dagger, which the Janitor dodged. Angered, the Janitor remembered his attempt at convincing Super J and lamented Fernando would make the same mistake. Fernando attempted to stab him, but the Janitor deflected him and kicked him to the edge of the arena. Using the time, Super J appeared and gave Janitor his broom, arming him and evening the scales (the Gamemaster allowed it). A clash began, with Janny ultimately getting the upper hand and disarming Fernando, but the last human pulled out then a chainsaw and broke the broom in two. Falling to the ground, Janny took the dropped dagger and threw it at the chainsaw, sending it flying to the wall behind the commentators’ heads. The fight then devolved into an exchange of fists, kicks and bites, both opponents falling to the ground and rising at the same time, then trading more and more blows. Once again, now weakened, Janny remembered Vivian pushing him, Louis, and Kevin, and punched the clown in the stomach hard enough to almost drop him to his knees. Hanging from Janitor, it seemed Fernando was at his limit and they both closed lips, but it all was a trick from the Troupe member to attempt to stab Janny - who grabbed the wrist, flipped Fernando upside down and knocked him out cold with a wrestling move. In the end, Janitor refused to kill his opponent, saying there was something right about Fernando, just not right in his head, and marched singing away with his victory.
After Crab 2
Before he got juiced alongside the other Crabs, Fernando asked as a last favor to the Gamemaster, who always favored him, to allow him to speak, after which he told him to fuck off.
He was revived in Chadwick’s Eternal Crab like everyone else, forced to compete endlessly in tournaments. Not much more about him is known by then but he was ultimately sent back to his universe by Berbie without memories, as per due the events of Crab 3.
Relationships
Life Within CRAB
He was a favorite of the Gamemaster, due to him being a clown.
Got along decently with his team.
A lot of people thirsted over him, including Louis and Janny. Louis maybe fucked him. He got then the fame of being massively gay.
Gallery
Gallery
Trivia
- He actually has a girlfriend.
Source
Text: CRAB WIKI, Fernando (revision 2556, 2026-05-31; by ArkAngal, BastaardSoup, Fresbi)
Pictures: uploaded to the wiki by Fresbi
Edited by: G
Licence: text CC BY-SA 4.0; characters, comics and art belong to their creators
