Janitor
Back to Work
Field Value Full Name Janitor Alias Janny Gender Male Age 40 World Unknown Earth Alternate Occupation Janitor Status Alive (lives with Vivian) Role Participant (Crab 1, Crab 2, Crab 3, Crab 5) Team The Cleanup Crew (Crab 1); Rockin Rosebuds (Crab 2); Bucket Servants (Crab 3); Bio Hazard (Crab 5) Edition Crab 1, Crab 2, Crab 3, Crab 5 Creator Luke
No running in the hallway, the floor's wet.
The Janitor (often nicknamed Janny) is a recurring participant of all the CRAB Tournaments, joining teams Clean Up Crew, Rockin Rosebuds and Bucket Servants respectively. Seemingly human, he is a dry-witted and talented being whose job is to keep things clean around the Bucket - and he does it entirely for free.
Appearance
Personality
The Janitor is a calm and relaxed fellow, a person of few words, who is fully focused on his duties or lost in his thoughts. When he talks, he often sounds bitter and philosophical. He’s either in a neutral mood or doesn’t show his feelings openly, due to his ever frown face expression.
The Janitor, however, is a very competent man, who finishes his job with care, while also following his own mind. He holds no desire for fame or wealth and prefers a normal and simple lifestyle.
The Janitor is a bit of a nihilist and sees no point in putting much effort in things with no reward - despite this, he is consistent and constant in his job and duties, a contradiction he himself notes.
Powers and Abilities
Janitor holds no powers but he’s known to be a capable fighter. A jack of all trades, that uses everything he finds as a tool or weapon to survive.
He is a master of using the broom as a weapon and can use also soap bombs to trap opponents. He was able to go toe to toe and even defeat Super J in combat, showing skill in melee fighting as well as wrestling. The Janitor knows enough demonology to be able to summon a minor demon - his strength seems to rely a bit on toon force as he is as powerful as the comedy of his encounter demands: at his most motivated, a clash between himself and his rival Super J was enough to completely obliterate the arena around them.
He is adept at motorcycle riding.
Background
History
Crab 1
Recruitment
Before the round began, Janny was mopping floors while moping about work and that the wizard wouldn’t help any. The Gamemaster appeared and suggested for him to dance to clean, and the Janitor replied that only emotions danced him in a dance for survival and other nihilistic considerations. The Wizard laughed and said he was funny.
Hosted on Imgur, “Crab 1 Intermission: Janny”.
Round 1
Janitor (lost, entry) vs Pikralida (won, entry) in Dance. Match page: C1 R1 - Janitor vs Pikralida
In the Janitor’s reality, he met against Pikralida in a green field. Taking a puff of his cigarette, Janitor declared it was time to take out the trash. He hit the griddy then with such vigor Pikralida was set on fire, after which Janny requested to go back to work. Berbie wondered if that was even legal, with Wietse joking the Janitor was “fired up” about the dance contest.
In Pikralida’s canon reality, Joseph announced Pikralida it was her turn. Seeing she had no dancing clothes, Pikralida sewed something and asked the pizza boy what he thought, but Joseph replied she was too old for him. Pikralida aimed a gun at him and demanded he call her pretty, but was then called by the Gamemaster to join the fight. She got into the arena then and disco danced, then pointed at her opponent and told him he looked like a ka - when Janny asked a ka-what, she said a ka-BOOM and exploded him. Wietse wondered if that was legal but Berbie gave it a pass because Pikralida was hot.
Round 2
Janitor (lost, entry) vs Linda May Lieu (won, entry) in Dessert. Match page: C1 R2 - Janitor vs Linda
In the Janitor’s reality, Janitor put vanilla, strawberry and chocolate ice cream, banana, chocolate sauce, cream, sprinkles, whiskey, gummies, M&Ms, pizza gummies, cubanitos, pockies, spices, then summoned a demon and stabbed him pouring his blood into the dish much to Linda’s disgust, then topped it with a maraschino cherry. Seeing this all of the judges refused to eat the dessert, with Janny gladly taking it all to himself.
In Linda’s canon reality, Linda gathered ingredients through adventuring - climbing a mountain for eggs, diving for algae, then milling flour herself. She pondered as she did the meaning of life and the struggle of one against the forces of chaos - in the end, she made cupcakes with her ingredients and offered them around to all contestants. Somewhat distrustful, Janny asked what was that about as he was working. Linda said she had made the cupcakes to be enjoyed, and Janny asked what did it matter to her if he enjoyed or not - and threw the cupcake on the bin. Retrieving it, an angered Linda asked if it would be the same for Janny to eat the raw ingredients or the cupcake, with him saying it would be as the chemical act of brain enjoyment was meaningless. Linda replied that she made the cupcake to rebel against the meaninglessness of nature and reality, she threw it at him declaring she could give it but could not make him eat it. Both then had a staredown. In the end, Janny decided to have a bite, admitting his constant cleaning could also be seen as a revolt against the destructive reality of nature - with Linda noting his work made everyone’s lives better in a way. Janny noted his work then sounded more rewarding, but told Linda to return to her team when she offered to help him.
In an alternate reality, he refused the cupcake, instead noting despite Linda’s revolt, she would die anyways. As he tried to throw the cupcake towards her, Linda bounced it with a plate and knocked the Janitor down, noting how sad it was to disregard life just for the promise of death.
At some point after this round the Janitor had a romantic encounter with No’e, with whom he fathered a child called Tubby, whom he barely recognizes. No’e left the tournament not long after.
Round 3
Janitor (won, entry) vs Super J (lost, entry). Match page: C1 R3 - Janitor vs Super J
In Super J’s reality, both faced each other in the Bucket, the announcers believing Janitor would easily beat the hero. Janitor had a smoke first, and disarmed his opponent with words, noting how he hid his face because he lacked a backbone, how his role was inherited and full of loathing, how he refused to put in real work. He then demonstrated what he meant by stripping his shirt and showing his secretly chiseled, muscular body - the physically superior Janny began beating down Super J then, threatening to make himself a new broom out of his spine, and crushing him to dust against his chest. However, it was then revealed this was a mental projection caused by the hero, who declared Janny’s job had gotten him full of hot air: prickling him with a needle, the warped reality made the Janitor deflate like a balloon and sent him flying off the Bucket.
In Janitor’s canon reality, he was approached by Super J as he was cleaning the floor. Super J told Janny to actually fight even if it wasn’t his profession or otherwise they would be stuck in the Bucket forever (foreshadowing). Janny asked if Super J really expected to ever leave the Bucket and wondered if they were not stuck there forever to fight for entertainment or die. The hero refused to give up hope, but the Janitor replied that hope was for those who refused to see the truth, and that either way Super J would get nothing from beating up a Janitor. Super J then declared giving up was not a hero’s option, and the Janitor replied that there were wars that could not be won, that the Gamemaster had already won, and that there would be no prize for anyone - it was just not worth it. Deciding then to take the honor to free Janny from his misery, Super J then attacked, but the Janitor blocked his fists with his broom and warned his opponent he was too young to die - Super J refused to back down, and attacked once again, a savage battle ensued with the hero breaking the Janitor’s broom and then them exchanging blows and kicks. Super J then grabbed Janny and flew upwards, dropping him from the height of the Bucket. As he fell and remembered the voices of Linda, Berbie, and Wietse encouraging him (kinda), Janny set his feet on the Bucket’s wall and ran in circles to avoid the fall, climbing back where Super J was. Holding the hero by the neck, he seemed to be about to throw him off the arena but ultimately pulled him back in, noting again he was too young to die. Super J then teared up and admitted he just wanted to return home - finding his tears amusing, the Gamemaster gave Janny the victory.
After Crab 1
After the Pryde Pizza’s victory and wish for everyone to go back home safe, Janitor returned to his old life of being just a Janitor, being the only member of his team to obtain a victory. But… what we did not know, is that he would eventually return.
Crab 2
For a second time, the Janitor was summoned to the Bucket, as part of the team Rockin Rosebuds. The team came to be like a family, with him taking on the father-like role.
Round 1
Janitor (won, entry) vs Paulus de B (lost, entry) in Snooker. Match page: C2 R1 - Janitor vs Paulus
In Paulus’s reality, Paulus noted there was a problem - he was too short to even see the table. Janitor told him to fix it and Paulus then called a bear friend, Ollie, to replace him during the game. After losing, Janny angered noted that was cheating, but Paulus retorted he could not even reach the table and offered for them to call it a draw and grab a coffee together, which they did.
In the Janitor’s canon reality, he victoriously entered the land of the gods where the pool game was about to happen, he lit a cigarette, studied the table, and prepared a powerful shot. Despite all the windup the shot went completely off the table, breaking through a god sculpture and terribly missing. Janitor then admitted he was more of a bowling person.
Round 2
Janitor (lost, entry) vs Louis (won, entry, part 2) in Guitar Play. Match page: C2 R2 - Janitor vs Louis
In France, Janitor put on the wizard hat while Louis took the aging potion becoming older.
In the Janitor’s reality, Janny and old Louis were hanging at the beach, the latter failing to play his guitar. Louis complained the potion had aged him instead of making him sexier and his fingers were too old to play. The guitar told Louis to do his part in order to be able to complete the game. Staring at a ship, Janny said he had no interest or mood for playing the guitar. As old Louis fell asleep, the guitar wondered what mood could bring a janitor to want to play music. Janny compared music to the sun, always present and making everyone’s day bright but without caring, just being, however, he also said music was different it felt more alive, it shone brighter on human hearts. And yet, all the sound of the world, good or bad, was in his ears overshadowed by silence, the silence of things around him and the peace of nature (as he said this, an orca ate the French ship from before). Louis then woke up, sarcastically thanking Janny and telling him young kids like him did not enjoy music anymore. Finally ignited, he decided to go all out and play his guitar, but broke his back in the attempt and fell, Janny dryly noting the concert had a speedy end.
In Louis’s canon reality, Louis was at his hotel room in France when the Janitor rang his door. Louis said he did not need cleaning but Janny put his foot on the door and told him he actually wanted to talk about the competition. Louis accepted to talk there, and Janny said he could not play the guitar and asked Louis to teach him. Although baffled, Louis ultimately accepted, amused. He met with Janny at the beach and mentored him for two hours, although he reacted badly when Janny suggested that put them at similar levels (they had a gay moment). Janny wanted to talk about Fernando, but Louis kept kicking the subject, in the end, back to the door of their hotel room, Louis said it was water under the bridge. Both hugged and Janitor returned to his cleaning duties - instead, Louis returned to his room, where No’e was waiting and kissed him, revealing he had been cucking the Janitor.
After hearing about the match Vivian was curious or wanted to cheer up Janny and slept with him. What started as seemingly casual sex between team members slowly then developed into a solid and wholesome relationship, and they solidified as a couple.
Round 3
Janitor (won, entry) vs Fernando (lost, entry). Match page: C2 R3 - Janitor vs Fernando
In Fernando’s reality, Fernando was delighted in having an audience, seeing the match as a show. Janitor put his cigarette out on the clown’s shoulder, commenting how Fernando had avoided being killed by Bodycount that day. The fight then began, but before Fernando could pull out his dagger Janny disarmed him with his broom, then grabbed his wrist and pulled him closer (they had a gay moment). Fernando then got angered and pulled the broom, hitting Janny with it and cornering his opponent at the edge of the arena. Janitor then offered Fernando one last smoke before being defeated: the clown accepted, then made a magic trick of pulling a cigarette from the Janitor’s ear. Amused, the Janitor lit it up and commented Fernando was alright and that it was a shame both would die - and the cigarette interrupted him by exploding and defeating him. Smug and seemingly victorious, Fernando took a puff of the cigarette Janny offered - only to find out it was poisoned and falling as well, ending the match in a draw.
In the Janitor’s canon reality, meeting at the arena Janitor told Fernando he had no interest in winning, there was nothing to win from CRAB, and although Fernando probably deserved the victory for appreciating life more there was no real trophy to have for it. He offered Fernando to take the victory and leave, although he surmised there was no escape from the Bucket and likely Bodycount would kill him if he attempted one. Fernando offered them a handshake, but when Janny took his hand, attempted to stab his opponent with a dagger, which the Janitor dodged. Angered, the Janitor remembered his attempt at convincing Super J and lamented Fernando would make the same mistake. Fernando attempted to stab him, but the Janitor deflected him and kicked him to the edge of the arena. Using the time, Super J appeared and gave Janitor his broom, arming him and evening the scales (the Gamemaster allowed it). A clash began, with Janny ultimately getting the upper hand and disarming Fernando, but the last human pulled out then a chainsaw and broke the broom in two. Falling to the ground, Janny took the dropped dagger and threw it at the chainsaw, sending it flying to the wall behind the commentators’ heads. The fight then devolved into an exchange of fists, kicks and bites, both opponents falling to the ground and rising at the same time, then trading more and more blows. Once again, now weakened, Janny remembered Vivian pushing him, Louis, and Kevin, and punched the clown in the stomach hard enough to almost drop him to his knees. Hanging from Janitor, it seemed Fernando was at his limit and they both closed lips, but it all was a trick from the Troupe member to attempt to stab Janny - who grabbed the wrist, flipped Fernando upside down and knocked him out cold with a wrestling move. In the end, Janitor refused to kill his opponent, saying there was something right about Fernando, just not right in his head, and marched singing away with his victory.
After Crab 2
Now stuck in Eternal Crab thanks to the Chads’ wish, Janitor lived his life out in ease at the Rosebud Hotel - the former speakeasy his team hung out in. He and Vivian stayed together and had 3 children: Thierry, Blossom and Jerry (Vivian does not acknowledge Jerry). He also has 2 kids with Carolyn: John and Alice.
As Vivian runs the hotel, Janitor works around the CRAB city as the resident janitor - cleaning up wherever and whenever needed.
But as we know well, Janitor isn’t just going home and be a family man without one last rodeo…
Crab 3
Once again and for the last time, the Janitor was dragged from Chadwick’s Eternal Crab to join Crab 3 with a new team, the Bucket Servants, all girls except for himself (harem team).
Round 1
Janitor (won, entry, part 2) vs Cheras (lost, entry) in Rescue Allies. Match page: C3 R1 - Janitor vs Cheras
In Centuria, Cheras joined the Forest Alliance, while the Janitor joined the Empire.
In Cheras’s reality, she landed from the Bucket into the forest as a flesh ball, and quickly found a tasty fruit to eat. Grabbing a forest attacker, Cheras told him she was there to help and showed him a letter from the wizard. The forest people accepted her since the Gamemaster and Der Baum were friends. Der Baum then sent Cheras along with the bush warrior to rescue his disciples, kept prisoners in a castle of the empire where something disrupted his magic. Sneaking in from the sewers, the two jumped on the guards and released the disciples, two elves and a gnome, but could not return the same way with the water flooding and the small entrance size. They went through the castle then, and just as Cheras thought how easy the mission was going, they encountered the Janitor, who baffled at the escape prepared to fight them, easily dispelling the disciples’ magic with a bucket of water. The Janitor defeated the bush warrior using repellent and fought Cheras, who blinded him with meat tendrils. Nervous, the forest dwellers ran away, and as the Janitor tried to find the alarm to ring, Cheras let go of his eyes in sympathy. The Janitor rang the alarm, and many guards came to his aid, chasing the immortal girl and her friends. Dropping an arm, Cheras made it grow into a fleshy sponge that trapped the guards, but the Janitor walked over it and fought her. When Cheras appeared back to the others on the exit, it seemed she had won, but then the Janitor threw a bath bomb at her and trapped them into the sticky explosion. Cheras used a fleshy tendril to slurp water from the lake outside the castle and spit it at the foam, releasing them - now free to cast their magic, the Disciples turned the bushy warrior into a bush giant, who grabbed the Janitor and threw him far away. As they returned, Der Baum congratulated Cheras and gave her some of his special magical weed. Cheras ate it and commented it tasted nice, while everyone else told her she was meant to smoke it.
In the Janitor’s canon reality, the Emperor (Tardfart) sent Janny on a quest to rescue imperial spies captured by the Forest Residents. For that he gave him a helmet and a “horse” (a toy on a stick since all the horses had been sent to the army), with Janny dryly wondering if he didn’t even have a donkey to spare. The Emperor cried that the Empire was busy and to please understand, and nonetheless Janny went on riding along with his trusted buffoon squire. Arriving to the Forest, Janny directly asked for the spies, but an elf told him the one that captured them had done unspeakable things to them - and led him to a place where Cheras sat still, along the half eaten remains of the spies. The elf explained Cheras ate them before they could interrogate them, while Cheras argued they tasted nice and that they had threatened. Janny decided to take Cheras with him and the elf agreed since the Forest would not stand for her savagery. He packed the immortal girl and returned to the Emperor along with the remains of the spies - the Emperor cried and criticized saying he should have brought them back alive as dead slaves had no use. He stated the Empire had fallen and billions must die and tried to activate a bomb (that did not work, leading him to spend the rest of the round coping), but Janny didn’t care anymore and went back to sweeping the floors, with Cheras wondering what she was doing there.
Round 2
Janitor (lost, entry) vs Luigi (won, entry) in Salaryman. Match page: C3 R2 - Janitor vs Luigi
For Round 2, Luigi drank all the potions becoming a fat old lady.
In Janitor’s reality, a salaryman Janitor accidentally bumped into old lady Luigi, who started shouting at him and saying he would not get away with it. As she threw a barrage of disrespect and insults at him, Janitor opened up his shirt, but it was only because he felt hot. The anger at Janitor not caring gave Luigi a brain attack and knocked her out, with Janitor observing she had overworked herself to death.
In Luigi’s canon reality, Janitor had been wageslaving in Japan when he noticed fat old mama Luigi and fell in love. He followed her to a Book Club where a few other Crabs enjoyed cheap romance novels, and once saw the opportunity and helped her get up, being crushed by the old lady’s ass, fulfilling his intentions.
Round 3
Janitor (won, entry) vs Super J (lost, entry). Match page: C3 R3 - Janitor vs Super J
Super J came back to the tournament, joining Monomyth as the replacement of Adni, who had retired after facing the Rapist Ant and losing. His sole goal was to face Janitor in a grudge match for their previous epic battle.
In Super J’s reality, he fought the Janitor in a wrestling match, messing with his opponent’s head through projecting illusions, and ultimately dodging his attacks and finishing him with a clothesline. However, this was all a plot to keep the wizard distracted as he pulled the Janitor into a dream dimension with his power, revealing his true intention - to ally together and find heroes to fight against the Gamemaster. Because Tenebris and Lurker saw through his power, the Gamemaster realized Super J’s intentions and set Berbie to destroy him and Janny.
In Janitor’s canon reality, Janny entered the arena on his bike and was attacked by the angry Super J, and a battle ensued. Super J got the advantage, kicking the Janitor in the leg (making him sob for 8 pages) and then with a rush attack threw him to the ground - however, Janitor continued fighting and slowly turned the balance to his favor, ending in a double punch that destroyed most of the arena surrounding them. Declaring his intention to win, Super J threw a final punch, but slipped off the arena, being grabbed by Janny. Asking to be let go, ultimately Super J slipped to his doom much to the Janitor’s sadness. Later while the Servants celebrated the victory, Janitor was looking sad, and told Sanctus that if they were to win, they would need to think of a greater cause for their wish. The party was interrupted then as Super J showed himself alive to join it, and for the first time, a surprised Janny smiled.
After Crab 3
After Brat Pack won the wish, Janitor was reunited with Vivian and his children in the multiversal marble created by Berbie. Now, the two of them live together in Janitor’s world, and are at peace. As such, they had no wishes for the Bratheon and got their own happy ending.
Relationships
Life Within CRAB
Janitor worked as a cleaner and is ubiquitous in many scenes doing his job - it is unclear who pays him or if anyone ever does: wherever there is something to clean, the Janitor is simply there.
He slept (and even fathered some children in some cases) with No’e, Carolyn, Vivian, Sanctus, Cannon Girl, and some say Gamemaster-chan too. Out of them, the only one he truly got to love and his favorite was Vivian.
Gallery
Gallery
Trivia
- His real name is never mentioned. It’s unknown if he has one.
- He is the only CRAB participant to have returned not once, but twice, joining all three first tournaments.
- Despite his strange appearance, the Janitor is considered a human.
- Although it is often repeated the Janitor comes from the Bucket dimension and as such he cannot leave it, the truth is the Janitor has his own dimension, where he works in an office cleaning the hallways and restrooms, from which the Gamemaster kidnapped him.
Source
Text: CRAB WIKI, Janitor (revision 1907, 2025-02-18; by ArkAngal, TheRealLuke, Fresbi, TheBrianPillman)
Pictures: The Janitor.png, uploaded to the wiki by TheRealLuke
Edited by: G
Licence: text CC BY-SA 4.0; characters, comics and art belong to their creators
