Florida Man
You can probably smell this picture.
Field Value Full Name Carlos Romero Alias Gender Male Age Unknown World Florida Occupation Unknown Status Alive (later Pit Guardian) Role Headliner, Participant Team Juan Freaky Freakers Edition Crab 3 Creator CornCobBro
We're freaks here! So let's make this Tournament even freakier!
The Florida Man (real name Carlos Romero) is a participant of Crab 3, working as the headliner and leader of the Team Juan Freaky Freakers. He is a tenacious being from the sunshine state who was drafted into Crab after the Gamemaster kidnapped his drug-dealer.
Appearance
Personality
Despite his reputation, most of Florida Man’s “evil” seems to come from his rough manners and ignorance - and he acts civil to both allies and opponents, damaging them due to his natural demeanor and roughness. He values his team and is willing to die for them, leading the Rebellion against the Gamemaster for their sake. He is also a bit of a nutjob and his perception of reality seems to be really, really limited, generally barely acknowledging when people don’t like him.
Powers and Abilities
Florida Man possessed “retard strength”, allowing him incredible feats of power. He could kick a goddess many yards, or even throw someone upwards past the atmosphere, or break a man’s head simply with his bare hands. He fights with football-like movements. Florida Man is also brutal and relentless, lacking human empathy and behaving more like an animal on battles. He seems to never give up no matter how much damage taken, showing incredible tenacity.
He fights using the cum towel he carries on his shoulder, as well as the braided hair of his armpits to tie or cling to things. His natural foul odor and demeanor is usually enough to debuff opponents from the nausea as well.
Temporarily during Round 2, Florida Man was experimented on by Tredecima and achieved his Baphomet Form, granting him enhanced physical capabilities, an enormous dick, and seemingly limitless sexual drive.
Carlos also has a strong resistance to drugs due to overuse.
Background
History
Round 1
Florida Man (lost, entry) vs Sentimia (won, entry) in Peace Negotiation. Match page: C3 R1 - Florida Man vs Sentimia
In Centuria, both Sentimia (along with Oji-san) was made one of the leaders of the Forest Alliance, while Florida Man rose to become a Horde warlord along with Tikas.
In Florida Man’s reality, the Freaks were chilling in their base when Round 1 rules were announced. Teleported into Centuria, Florida Man had no trouble quickly befriending the horde monsters. A few days after, Sentimia awaited for a peace treaty with the horde along with fellow Alliance elves. Seeing Florida Man approach (having risen through the ranks now a full fledged warlord) Sentimia began feeling sick from his mere presence, having a severe allergic reaction. She sent muses of emotions to disrupt Florida Man, but they were quickly dealt with by his dark aura. Florida Man injected some epipen on Sentimia, but this made the alliance believe he was stabbing her - as a result a big fight broke out during the peace negotiation. Having already defeated Hime, Overkill aided this conflict by dropping empire car batteries into the river, cutting down the Alliance’s main means of transport. In the end Florida Man was victorious and turned Sentimia into his pony.
In Sentimia’s canon reality, the goddess was ready to convince the horde to become peaceful, thinking the beauty of the forest and nature should be enough. She refused Vera’s insistence that they should fight and instead ordered them to stand, even though the mere presence of Florida Man started giving her an allergic reaction. Florida Man saw her head like a football and kicked it, sending the small goddess flying. Realizing it would be difficult, Sentimia tried to negotiate again but Florida Man barely paid attention. Sentimia tried to use her powers on the enemy, but noticed he truly lacked any empathy to be manipulated. Instead, she realized he was motivated merely by instincts like hunger. Seeing there was no way to calm down Florida Man other than to feed him, she offered him vegetables, but Florida Man angrily refused. A heroic elk called Sir Prancelot offered himself as a food sacrifice for the deranged freaker, who ate him raw, allowing him to calm down and accept Sentimia’s peace proposal. Later Frankie comforted Sentimia.
At some point between the two rounds, Tredecima approached and made a short-lived alliance with him, trying different experimental drugs on him to turn him into a demon version of himself. The freaks then went on to plan against the Gamemaster.
Round 2
Florida Man (lost, entry) vs Tripp Rosewood (won, entry) in Hentai. Match page: C3 R2 - Florida Man vs Tripp
In Japan, both Tripp and Florida Man took on the Kemono potion, turning into racoon kemonos.
In Florida Man’s reality, Tripp woke up bound and naked in a room, captured by Florida Man who had been experimented on and turned into a lust demon by Tredecima. He then put his engorged dick in Tripp’s mouth, then raped him, though Tripp was really into it. After that Florida Man injected Tripp with the gender changing potion and brought the rest of the Ultraviolent members, all turned males, for a gangbang (wearing Teresa’s hat so Godefroy hallucinated it was her). When they were done and the hat fell off, Godefroy got angry, called him a NIIIIIIIGGGGGG- and did a nuclear explosion.
In Tripp’s canon reality, he and Florida Man did a beer run together in Kabukicho. Amicably conversing, Tripp revealed he was a virgin and Florida Man decided to get him laid. They went to a whorehouse then, although Tripp was suspicious about how empty it was and just let Florida Man fuck all twenty-nine hookers. However, Tripp’s suspicions were soon proven right as the whole place was revealed to be the trap of a spider yokai, and the girls merely doll corpses. The yokai tied Tripp and F. Man by their dicks, the first struggling and the second enjoying it, and pulled to eat them. Desperate to get out, Tripp drank the gender potion in order to turn female and escape. In his/her attempt to release Florida Man, the thread cut and the man smashed against a wall, breaking his own gender potion inside his ass and becoming Florida Woman. Florida Woman then goaded female Tripp to help her fuck the spider yokai together because their pride was on the line, and a sex battle ensued, with Tripp thinking it was good enough to live for (ichigai). After defeating the monster, they both conversed and Florida Man revealed no girl had ever really been his girlfriend because of his size - Tripp responded by turning back into a male and impregnating Florida Man.
After Round 2, the Freaks were disbanded due to the bet they made with Z.
The rebellion invaded Nuremberg. Florida Man defeated Chadwick, they killed many gnomes. Using the confusion, Awesoman and Bernard released themselves. Berbie fought Overkill and Oji-san, then released Leuca to face them, who in turn was chased by the Ant. Cyrus joined the rebellion and filmed them for Harry’s broadcast, which many Crabs were watching - until Lenard snatched him again calling Overkill out for involving his son-. Watching this Wietse decided to join, asking Evelin to take him with her to Nuremberg, where they reunited with Awesoman and Bernard. Meanwhile the other rebels encountered Nathan, who had been locked as well and happily joined them to kill gnomes, then with Carolyn, who promised to assist them against Berbie.
Round 3
Florida Man, Mister Overkill and Oji-san (lost, entry, part 2) vs Berbie (won, entry). Match page: C3 R3 - Florida Man, Mr Overkill and Oji-san vs Berbie
In the rebel’s reality, Overkill contemplated suicide, before thinking of his experiences and realizing he would not have changed a thing. The freaks then appeared, and hugged him - except Z. In appreciation for Overkill trying to rescue them out of Nuremberg, Z gave Overkill an Overcroc shadow and another Overkill shadow, telling them however it was not too late to go back. Overkill replied Z would go far and that he would do what he would regret the least. After that he visited Dizzy, who noticed he looked different, decided yet fearful. Overkill told her the Gamemaster had showed him many of his futures, they all ended in death, even besides the tournament. However, what he feared for was the destinies of his teammates if the rebellion was a mistake - to cheer him, Dizzy offered to read him the tarot, showing the cards death, the tower, and the hanged man. Later then, the fight against Berbie began. Florida Man began pummeling Berbie and even broke his head, but Berbie quickly regenerated and used blood control to gain the advantage. Oji-san and Overkill then attacked, the shadows firing at the immortal bird to put some distance between him and the headliner, and allow Oji-san to rescue him. When Berbie teleported behind him, Overkill summoned Overcroc to rip off his arm, Oji-san tied him, and revealed Carolyn hiding inside him, who tried to use her contract with Berbie to stop him - however, Berbie laughed it off as he did not consider the freaks his equals. Before he could attack Carolyn, Oji-san jumped to defend her, but Berbie caught him with one arm and threw him away, shrugging the bullets and attacks fired at him. He was crushed then by Florida Man, but reconstructed, calling the rebels not special, just one of many unsuccessful attempts at rebellion to be crushed - when Oji-san tried to envelop him in an attack, Berbie called him ungrateful and terminated him with a massive blast. His next target was Carolyn for helping them, but Overkill took on the brunt of the attack, fatally wounded, the man’s last words were for Florida Man to continue the battle for him. Telling Carolyn to step aside, Florida Man prepared then to face Berbie. Berbie mocked Florida Man for his partners being dead, and an exchange of blows began, before Berbie summoned a magic orb to chase him. Using his hair to cling to pillars and dodge the orb, in the end Florida Man headbutted it, destroying it but losing his helmet in the process. Berbie then used his magic to crush Florida Man’s balls, telling him to admit defeat, but the freaker refused, almost fainting from the pain. He then remembered the people he met at the tournament, and his team - and before Berbie could kill him, his deformed daughter (with Kevin) came to the rescue, though Berbie easily killed, exhausted at the existence of crab babies. Florida Man then grabbed a minigun from the Senjata armament and fired magai balls at Berbie, who deployed a forcefield - yet the balls shifted form and stabbed Berbie through it. Using the opening, Florida Man punched Berbie with a Honkita glove. When he was declared the loser to the surprise of all Crabs, Berbie began ranting, at how ridiculous the win had been and how unfair given that they received help from other Crabs, and declared they were all going to Nuremberg, the spectators too, and the announcers were fired. Seeing him in this state, Wietse finally jumped from the spectator area to the arena and confronted his friend. Berbie said Wietse had abandoned him, and Wietse replied he wanted to leave the Bucket behind, and that he did regret not taking Berbie with him, maybe things could have been different. Hearing this, Berbie was saddened and taken aback, but at that moment of weakness a miasma emerged from inside his body, killing him - the spirit of the power it had been granted to him by the Gamemaster. As the power tried to possess Wietse, Florida Man got in the middle and took the attack - but as he remembered him enjoying a hangover with his team and explaining them how little he was affected by drugs, he simply took onto that power by himself, evolving into G-Florida Man.
In Berbie’s canon reality, Berbie observed the changes in Centuria after the tournament - the horde and the brotherhood were no more, the Empire prevailed, and the Forest Alliance mourned the loss of Der Baum. Although he stated they were just pieces out of countless similar ones serving the Gamemaster, he felt sorry for the gnomes who begged and offered servitude if he would bring the tree back. Detecting this, the Gamemaster appeared in his little girl form, and revived Der Baum as a sprout - the gnomes decided to uphold their loyalty to him then. Later watching a show, Berbie realized he wished to see the puppets turning on their master. Berbie began planning then. He advised the gnomes to abandon the Gamemaster and hide from his attention, but they refused, as the Gamemaster had told them of a King Wenceslas who was a great enemy that would attack. Berbie stated the Gamemaster did not need them, but in the end accepted their help for his plan, asking them to find fictional anime characters with the power to grant wishes. Later that night reading Hunter x Hunter, Berbie asked the Gamemaster to punish the rebels himself, in three separate timelines, and a yellow anime potion for them, to even the odds - the Gamemaster agreed. After that Berbie required a hundred brute gnomes, a hundred kind gnomes, and a hundred clever ones to test his idea. A few nights later, as he watched Wietse play the concert on Japan, he received a report of the gnomes - that the brute gnomes would drink the potion from its briefcase under extreme conditions, but often broke it too early. Berbie ordered to use indestructible briefcases with Contestro and SRU technology, then heard about the battles going on Nuremberg and even a certain rebel’s desire to negotiate (likely Mishka). After that, he ran the experiment again, this time the Gamemaster killing the gnomes before they could use the potion, which to Berbie proved it could work. Later training for his match, Berbie thought of how every person in CRAB was kept alive by the Gamemaster in order to tell their stories, himself included. He reminisced of Chadwick, his time as a Gamemaster, and how his love for the real Gamemaster corrupted and maddened him, until GM-Chan returned and, puzzled at Chadwick still being there, destroyed him. He reminisced as well about killing old Wietse, when Wietse called him out on his crimes as a Gamemaster piece, Berbie counting every death he suffered, hoping that by a million Wietse would forgive him. That night, before the match, he recorded a message. Three timelines began then, one for each opponent. In Florida Man’s timeline, he began savagely beating up Berbie, while Oji-san accepted Berbie’s surrender… of nothing, as Berbie stated at this point, the rebellion path was outside of the usual rules of CRAB and as such, there was nothing like victors, or out of bounds, or late deliveries, just continuing the story the Gamemaster willed. Berbie kept coming back then, no matter how many times Florida Man killed him. Oji-san instead asked what was the so called Gamemaster’s will, but Berbie admitted he had no idea. Overkill in the meantime fought Berbie, deploying all sorts of weaponry and killing him again and again and again, so many times the bird finally reached his long awaited one-million death mark, fighting back then. In Florida Man’s timeline then, the man discovered the locked Contestro briefcase, set to open in 72 hours. In Oji-san’s Berbie began painting and talking with the prince, refusing his offer of inner peace. As Florida Man maddened tried to break the suitcase and even drank Berbie’s blood, Berbie spoke his points to Oji-san: that the rebellion were also following the Gamemaster’s will, that the evil or good of everyone depended on circumstances beyond their control, that to do nothing in regards of fate is to gain nothing, that rebelling and questioning everything is right, to how he had decided to go along with whatever the GM decided and made a Scapegoat for those who rebelled against his authority, how by following the GM’s authority blindly he opened the door to his own darkness, until killing Wietse opened his eyes. He stated the key was awareness, and personal accountability. Although he believed the GM had decided everything already, he chose to be a good person. Berbie then admitted his plan: to kill Overkill personally in revenge to the gnomes killed, to talk with Oji-san and to have Florida Man be the conduct of a wish… As the suitcase opened and Florida Man drank the yellow potion with Alluka’s powers, requests were granted and a wish was made to create a pocket universe containing the unified selves of every crab that ever rebelled and every gnome that ever helped the Gamemaster, also Crabs who no longer competed, as soon as he killed Mr Overkill - otherwise, Berbie would die a million times. As soon, in each timeline the rebels disappeared, with Florida Man granting the wish, Oji-san bidding Berbie farewell before the bird broke his own neck, and Overkill dying and vanishing. The timelines condensed into a multiversal marble, as Berbie fell and returned to his original fat bird form, dying as he gazed at the stars.
After Crab 3
After Brat Pack’s victory, Florida Man was dragged out of the Berbie Marble (or at least, a version of him was) to receive punishment for his crimes. Tripp decided to send him to Gouda, though it’s likely they made peace at some point as Florida Man stayed at the Brat’s house for a few days and he apologized.
He was at some point turned into the new Pit Guardian, replacing Kevin.
Relationships
Life Within CRAB
WRITE HERE!!!!
WRITE HERE!!!!/p>
WRITE HERE!!!!
Gallery
Gallery
Trivia
- He is Cuban.
- His favorite drinks are absinthe and vodka.
Source
Text: CRAB WIKI, Florida Man (revision 1469, 2025-01-24; by Fresbi)
Pictures: Fman.png, uploaded to the wiki by Fresbi
Edited by: G
Licence: text CC BY-SA 4.0; characters, comics and art belong to their creators
