Captain
Falcon, don't bother. We're literally on Team Faggot.
The Captain is a character of Crab 2, working for Team F-Slurs. A young one-armed man turned mercenary after the death of his parents, he is the Captain.
It’s all he does.
It’s all he knows.
Appearance
Personality
Captain is a calm and collected individual. He always has a plan and doesn’t let emotions take a hold of him.
He is willing to get his hands dirty if needed in order to win.
Powers and Abilities
His main ability is his brain to come up with plots in order to succeed. Being a Captain, he is also likely good at navigating.
His purple dagger allows him to nullify any poison.
Background
History
Round 1
Kevin and Femboy Elf (won, entry) vs Captain and Falcon (lost, entry) in Hunting. Match page: C2 R1 - Kevin and Femboy Elf vs Captain and Falcon
In Kevin and Femboy Elf’s canon reality, they were sent to hunt a fly-like creature. Femboy was not thrilled to work with Kevin. As their opponents ran away from the danger of the swamp, Kevin and the elf encountered their target, sitting on top of a massive monster snake which attacked them. They ran into a temple and Kevin extended his tongue to eat the fly, enraging the snake. However the snake was distracted by Falcon screaming and chased them instead, allowing the Rosebuds duo to run away. The snake ate the F-Slurs and turned into a giant frog, who splashed Kevin away when he tried to negotiate with it. Tired of it, Femboy Elf invoked his ancestors to gain super strength and punched it dead, releasing them. Just as he lamented they could not win because they had no evidence of having caught their target, Kevin nonchalantly spit out the dead fly.
In the Captain’s reality, they had to compete in hunting bog frogs. Femboy Elf gained the advantage by using pheromones to attract frogs and kill them, but Captain encountered a friendly frog and convinced it that Femboy Elf was a male, and got a jar of the pheromones. He used them on Femboy Elf so that the frogs gangraped him, giving him a chance to kill them while keeping the elf alive. Falcon took care of Kevin.
Round 2
Jed (won, entry) vs Captain (lost) in Sailing. Match page: C2 R2 - Jed vs Captain
Jed took the hat in France, while the Captain became a girl.
In Jed’s canon reality, he awoke in the ship with the female Captain ordering him to help, as both were to sail. Jed invited her to a date and Captain refused saying he was a man which Jed did not believe. They sailed and observed different match ups going on. Captain realized the island they were around was just France. Jed gave Captain a prosthetic arm, which annoyed her for it reminded her of how she lost her own. She chided Jed for slacking, who teased her, but they were interrupted by something pulling on his fishing rod. When both pulled together, the fish proved to be a massive monster called a Blyard. Jed had the Captain pull it while he tried to harpoon it, but the fish was too strong and just pulled on the ship. In the end Jed used his gun to fire a harpoon at the monster’s eye, killing it, and both made it back alive. Jed had hung the creature as a prize and invited her to a date, which she accepted.
Captain died at some point after these events, during the great fire caused by Bellboy.
After the Captain’s death, Jed never learned the truth and missed her.
After Crab 2
Captain remained dead.
Relationships
Life Within CRAB
Gallery
Gallery
Trivia
- He is right handed.
- Ironically, he has seafood allergy.
Source
Text: CRAB WIKI, Captain (revision 2508, 2026-05-27; by ArkAngal, Fresbi)
Pictures: Screenshot 2026-05-26 213749.png, uploaded to the wiki by Fresbi
Edited by: G
Licence: text CC BY-SA 4.0; characters, comics and art belong to their creators
