Linda May Lieu
She is not your friend, she will hurt you, and she will stop at NOTHING to get home.
Field Value Full Name Linda May Lieu Alias Gender Female Age 35 World Molly the Mole Occupation Paramedic (former) Status Alive (returned home) Role Headliner, Participant Team The Pryde Doughboys Edition Crab 1 Creator
I revolt against that void.
Linda May Lieu is a participant of Crab 1, as the headliner and headstrong leader of the Pryde Doughboys. A rebellious leader from a dystopian future, she works steadfast in order to return to her home - due to her actions, she becomes ultimately one of the main heroic forces of the tournament.
Appearance
Personality
Linda was an expert tactician and terminal headcase. She served in Crab 1 as the commanding, no-nonsense leader of The Pryde Doughboys. Despite her maniacally stubborn exterior, she occasionally showed kindness to teammates and competitors, such as offering the Janitor a chance to change his nihilistic world views or ultimately making peace with Ditron after their fight.
In her world, she co-commands a skilled group of enforcers; performing covert dirty-work in service of a dissident noble family. Her motivation in Crab 1 was to return home, no matter the cost.
Powers and Abilities
Linda went to great lengths to prepare for any task - pushing her team through each round as well as her own matches. Although she is not particularly strong, her relative agility and absurd tenacity made her a difficult enemy.
Linda had strong Martial skills, and was relentless in battle. She as well had expertise in a multitude of weapons, including but not limited to a panzerfaust bazooka, an assault rifle, swords, and even a chainsaw. Suggestions of her made to the Gamemaster imply she was also adept at improvising chemical weapons with house implements, for example. She was a survivalist as well perfectly able to provide herself in rough nature with things to eat. Her melee weapon and tool of choice were however bolt shears.
Lastly, she had excellent baking abilities and made killer cupcakes, celebrated by the Crabs in the tourney.
Background
History
Recruitment
The Gamemaster appeared in Linda’s home which was layered with traps, to his astonishment. He invited her to Crab but she told him to get away, he tried to convince her saying it would be cool and that if she won she could return to her world. Linda began shooting at him non stop with no effect, and was eventually kidnapped.
Linda walked into the Pryde Doughboys base as they just had gathered and warned them they would all fight, no quitting, they kick asses and send everyone home, all in a drill sergeant manner. Taya was okay, Joseph did not even remember how he got there, Terriful said he was there for the snacks and Pikralida said she had mouths to feed back home so wanted to finish quickly.
Hosted on Imgur, “Crab 1 Intro - Linda”.
Hosted on Imgur, “Crab 1 Team Intro: Linda”.
Round 1
No’e and Larkspur (lost, entry) vs Linda May Lieu and Terriful (won, entry, part 2) in Dance. Match page: C1 R1 - No’e and Larkspur vs Linda and Terriful
In No’e and Larkspur’s reality, Berbie declared it was dance time and formed the teams. Although initially excited, No’e was down due to being paired with Larkspur whom she assumed to be an old man. However seeing the rest of her team he noted it could have been worse. Nonetheless she encouraged herself saying they had to kick ass and told Larkspur to not fall behind, to which he replied sure. They both appeared then in gala and danced for the crowds.
In Linda and Terriful’s canon reality, Joseph and the team wondered where Linda and Terriful were as they hadn’t seen them for a while, and they both burst through the door prepared. Linda said if Terriful fucked up she would neuter him and he replied he had never been this ready. A dancing number then began which honestly exceeds the tournament by far too much, with No’e watching scornful and the other Crabs, Berlo, and the Gamemaster vibing to it. In the end even Larkspur was vibing and No’e was shocked. Terriful launched Linda upwards and Wietse noted to Berbie that Linda, usually a cranky lady, was filled with optimism and smiles, the vibe shift so great it made the bird faint. The vibe shift was in fact so strong that the Gamemaster told Berlo to stop dancing as he had felt a disturbance in the cosmic order - lightning struck the flying dome where they danced and Bodycount was sucked from within the airlocks to the outside space.
Round 2
Janitor (lost, entry) vs Linda May Lieu (won, entry) in Dessert. Match page: C1 R2 - Janitor vs Linda
In the Janitor’s reality, Janitor put vanilla, strawberry and chocolate ice cream, banana, chocolate sauce, cream, sprinkles, whiskey, gummies, M&Ms, pizza gummies, cubanitos, pockies, spices, then summoned a demon and stabbed him pouring his blood into the dish much to Linda’s disgust, then topped it with a maraschino cherry. Seeing this all of the judges refused to eat the dessert, with Janny gladly taking it all to himself.
In Linda’s canon reality, Linda gathered ingredients through adventuring - climbing a mountain for eggs, diving for algae, then milling flour herself. She pondered as she did the meaning of life and the struggle of one against the forces of chaos - in the end, she made cupcakes with her ingredients and offered them around to all contestants. Somewhat distrustful, Janny asked what was that about as he was working. Linda said she had made the cupcakes to be enjoyed, and Janny asked what did it matter to her if he enjoyed or not - and threw the cupcake on the bin. Retrieving it, an angered Linda asked if it would be the same for Janny to eat the raw ingredients or the cupcake, with him saying it would be as the chemical act of brain enjoyment was meaningless. Linda replied that she made the cupcake to rebel against the meaninglessness of nature and reality, she threw it at him declaring she could give it but could not make him eat it. Both then had a staredown. In the end, Janny decided to have a bite, admitting his constant cleaning could also be seen as a revolt against the destructive reality of nature - with Linda noting his work made everyone’s lives better in a way. Janny noted his work then sounded more rewarding, but told Linda to return to her team when she offered to help him.
In an alternate reality, he refused the cupcake, instead noting despite Linda’s revolt, she would die anyways. As he tried to throw the cupcake towards her, Linda bounced it with a plate and knocked the Janitor down, noting how sad it was to disregard life just for the promise of death.
Round 3
Ditron (lost, entry) vs Linda May Lieu (won, entry). Match page: C1 R3 - Ditron vs Linda
In Ditron’s reality, the match began with psychological warfare - Linda told Ditron he sucked and he said no u. Linda then pulled a gun with him noting he always got the crazy ones, and as she shot, he deflected the bullets with his sword and charged at her. A powerful battle ensued with the commentators amazed at what they were seeing. Back to the fight, Linda had managed to punch Ditron now and mockingly asked if he was tired. He replied he was thinking… and acting, after which he pulled her leg and her down with it, him standing again. He stepped then over her, noticing he was two tons heavy - he began singing the Final Countdown to her frustration. The Gamemaster gave Ditron the victory although he was more busy dealing with Berbie who was attacked by a rabid Mooma. Linda asked Ditron to move out from the top of her but he asked for a few minutes more to enjoy his victory. Later he adopted the feral Mooma in exchange for a Pepsi.
In Linda’s canon reality, Linda prepared. Noting that Ditron was a brutal machine engineered for war, she said to herself she had to be worse than him in order to win. When the match began, Ditron instead noted the cupcake event before and that Linda had shown sympathy before, and hoped they would be able to reason. Linda entered the arena crazily brandishing a chainsaw. She began chasing Ditron with it - while his team complained it was unfair, the Gamemaster noted he had already vetoed many firearms, chemicals, and a man-packed howitzer, and that the Sunshine would have to manage. Cornered, Ditron grabbed and broke the chainsaw, but Linda did a spin and threw the rest of the weapon at him. Both damaged, Linda got Terriful to pass her a panzerfaust. Ditron instead got Nova’s sword, and his team pointed out the panzerfaust was likely a dud due to the tournament rules, although the Gamemaster not so convincingly noted he had approved it. The weapon was real, and when Ditron deflected its bullet it landed a big hole on the Bucket. As they moved to hand to hand combat, Ditron still tried to convince Linda to choose peace, but she rejected it as she was determined to leave the Bucket even if it meant killing him, seeing it as kindness. Linda began overpowering Ditron, noted his creation had been a crime and he was the victim, and due to his coolant systems being damaged, he was weakened and could not respond to the flurry of hits. Falling to the ground, he told Linda to chill out, and she smashed the broken chainsaw on his face, winning the match.
After that she eventually apologized and they had ice-cream, once her goal had been accomplished.
Linda & Ditron chill post-match in Round 3
After Crab 1 & Finale
With the Doughboys’ victory and the loyalty of her teammates, the Wish was in Linda’s hands. Staying true to her words, she prevented the first Great Juicing by wishing to grant each crab safe passage home.
Before doing so, she said a few words, noting their sacrifice, bravery and effort and saying she was proud of having fought and suffered alongside them. Here legible.
Relationships
Life Within CRAB
Linda led her team rather intensely and militarily like - they generally responded well to it, particularly Taya who likely saw it similar to her guard training. She managed to motivate Terriful to train and not quit when they were together.
She was hit on by Joseph who likes crazy girls but nothing came of it.
She maybe beat the shit out of No’e after their round since she never showed up herself afterwards.
Gallery
Gallery
Trivia
- Linda’s scars are a callback to a previous crossover death-match, inflicted by an ice blast from a water genie character
- Linda’s wish (shown in her animated intro comic, team introduction as well as bio) was to return home at any cost.
- Neither No’e nor the water genie was seen again after their matches with Linda.
- Due to winning all her matches against fighting opponents, Linda would be a contender for the Oliver Award. Except the award did not exist in Crab 1.
- Taya is always honest, but Linda May Lieu.
Source
Text: CRAB WIKI, Linda May Lieu (revision 1630, 2025-02-01; by Fresbi)
Pictures: uploaded to the wiki by Splagnet
Also: Status from the Crab 1 edition page
Edited by: G
Licence: text CC BY-SA 4.0; characters, comics and art belong to their creators
