Wanzu
Almighty Cat
Field Value Full Name Wanzu Alias Gender Ambiguous Age Ageless World Wanzu’s World Occupation Monitoring Avatars Status Alive (advisor to the gods) Role Participant (Crab 3); Bench (Crab 4) Team Light Magic Club (Crab 3) Edition Crab 3, Crab 4 Creator
You shall be everything.
Wanzu is a participant of Crab 3, as part of the Light Magic Club. She’s a goddess sphinx given incomprehensible power that defies all logic, being essentially almighty and existing in infinite realities in such a way that she experiences everything. Due to this, she has lost any sense of purpose for herself, so she sends avatars of herself to find amusement in other worlds or to help others.
Appearance
Personality
Wanzu is usually quiet and tranquil. She understands humor and can follow a joke, but she’s not one to joke or make overt shows of emotion, showcasing a rather zen, “enlightened” personality. She goes out of her way to help other crab contestants as she seems to find some enjoyment in their stories, being willing to aid her opponents in each of her matches despite her own allegiance to her team.
She shows to have interest in poetry, and always expresses herself in rhymes, something all but one of the avatars share. She is also contemplative and values mortal lives, perhaps as they have the one thing she truly lacks, uncertainty.
Powers and Abilities
Wanzu is without a doubt the most powerful Crab contestant, with power likely easily exceeding that of the commentators and likely only surpassed by the Gamemaster himself (though some say it’s a tie or that she could win). Through her Cosmic Hands, she is able to warp reality - summoning energy beams, teleporting, transformation, etc - by combining the arms, new arms with new conceptual powers can be created.
The Red Arm of Destruction allows her to destroy concepts, the Blue Arm of Creation to create new concepts, the Yellow Arm of Conservation prevents the alteration of concepts, Purple Arm of Corruption creates entities that corrupt and destroy concepts, Orange Arm of Evolution accelerates the development of a concept, Green Arm of Healing reverses concepts to a previous state, Arm of Chaos creates random things, Arm of Order Balances, Arm of Paradox creates impossible things.
By releasing the seal on her face, the avatar can transcend all logical concepts by directly connecting with the original goddess Wanzu’s source of power. Her final Round 3 form directly brings her giant sphinx goddess form into the stage, allowing her to be unsealed and use all arms at the same time, giving her conceptually control over all of reality.
Wanzu can access an unsealed, spiritual form. She uses it to transverse the spiritual world and converse with the dead, as well as to spy on the living undetected. She can access a comfort chibi form, which looks cute, as well as a toonforce version of the chibi cat form which grants her toon control over reality, making things only work as long as they are funny and no damage keep hold. Wanzu has as well a humanoid form, in which she has use of both her arms. She is an adept swordsman in this form and can summon blades with additional arms as well as a powerful and giant dark blade she usually carries on her back. In Round 2, she also shows a human, older version of herself who seems bed-ridden.
On her swordsman form, her tail is a weak spot.
Background
History
Wanzu was recruited by the Gamemaster who promised her entertainment and yarn. Before Round 1, Wanzu joined the Light Magic Club and commented to the Gamemaster that she wished to find amusement in the round.
Round 1
Wanzu (won, entry) vs Teresa Humboldt (lost). Match page: C3 R1 - Wanzu vs Teresa
Teresa was made to join the Horde, despite her meek personality, while Wanzu was part of the Brotherhood of Shadows.
Desperate to avoid failure and being turned into furniture, she tried to use her powers to heal Horde members, and got inadvertently trapped into a space ship from an alien species of the planet Jelliuska which was monitoring Centuria in order to try to find some powerful magic to fight back against their enslavers, the Squids. Under the guise of a great scientist of the aliens, Wanzu taught the aliens and Teresa magic, and they launched a counter-attack: using Teresa’s vision powers they localized the Overlord Squid core and the jelliuska leader destroyed it with the magic learned - Teresa lived for many years in peace after that…
PSYCH!
After this, Teresa got hit by the 𓀱𓁜𓂂𓁿𓂚𓀗 CURSE OF WANZU. 𓀱𓁜𓂂𓁿𓂚𓀗
A powerful side-effect of Wanzu’s utter overpowered existence which causes characters facing her to melt away from all planes of existence, effectively killing her.
Wanzu was seen afterward commenting the results of the round with the Gamemaster, admitting on being entertained. She regretted the fact all participants would, ultimately, perish.
Round 2
Wanzu (won, entry) vs Micheal and Noot (lost, entry) in Hanami. Match page: C3 R2 - Wanzu vs Micheal and Noot
In Japan, Wanzu took the age elixir, becoming one of her older selves, while Micheal and Noot took the anime potion and gained the power to control water and be a ghost respectively.
In Micheal’s reality, Micheal was prancing and playing with his new power along with Noot near the forest, where he accidentally took Wanzu’s drink. Wanzu claimed it and Micheal offered to take her to a place where there were more drinks: a table in the middle of the forest, from where he had gotten his powers by drinking the anime potion. Wanzu then questioned what drinks were safe to try, but Micheal did not remember and his guess ended up being poison. Spying at them from a tree, the Gamemaster laughed and said Micheal would soon fall dead, but Wanzu offered to heal him using her arms. Instead, Micheal used her power to expel the liquid out of his body, splashing everywhere and grossing out the cat girl. He noticed then in panic Noot had become a spirit, and the Gamemaster explained Micheal had just drunk drain cleaner and Noot took one of the anime power potions, but that the effects should dissipate in about a week. He then told Wanzu she had to take a potion as well. Wanzu requested something normal, and strawberry flavored, and the Gamemaster obliged, but when she drank it, it turned out to be an age shift elixir which changed her. The older Wanzu was satisfied anyways and dragged the dehydrated Micheal to a pond among the cherry blossoms with a nice view.
In Wanzu’s canon reality, Wanzu spoke to Micheal, saying a petal’s purpose was to be flown by the wind and fall to the ground - in the same way, she was like a petal, one of many in the world. Micheal asked if she always talked in such a poetic fashion, and Wanzu replied that most of the time yes, although one of her selves did not, because she was gloomy. Micheal replied he could not picture a Wanzu that did not enjoy poetry, and then thinking about it, added that it was true everyone was like a petal, and that often when he wanted to achieve something life swept him in another direction. Wanzu said that resisting the wind was pointless, the wind would take one to many different views. Smiling, the man replied that in that regard, the inevitability of death was in a way comforting, as it was a secure fate for everyone. Wanzu agreed: with death comes certainty, so live happily. As she said this, she began to vanish, while Micheal continued, saying he had met many petals and despite their short lives, people always managed to do amazing things - much like how a cherry petal could make one think of life. He turned then, but Wanzu was already gone, leaving him alone amidst the cherry blossoms. Convalescent in a hospital, the older human Wanzu then woke up from her dream.
After this, Micheal became another “victim” of the 𓀱𓁜𓂂𓁿𓂚𓀗 CURSE OF WANZU. 𓀱𓁜𓂂𓁿𓂚𓀗, although in this case, Wanzu gently guided him to the afterlife and Noot followed him. With the man gone, as well as Desmond and Tikas, the Hateful Eight completely fell apart and dissolved.
Wanzu was stated to fight LOVE then. However, LOVE also fell victim to the 𓀱𓁜𓂂𓁿𓂚𓀗 CURSE OF WANZU. 𓀱𓁜𓂂𓁿𓂚𓀗 (MOODLE VERSION) and ultimately lost the power to fight.
A sleepwalking Wanzu faced Lurker and Tenebris in combat, wielding a darkness sword. Tenebris ultimately woke her up, and she instinctively reacted by mindcontrolling the commenters who performed carameldansen with her.
Round 3
Wanzu (lost, entry) vs Frankie Fisher (won, entry). Match page: C3 R3 - Wanzu vs Frankie Fisher
In Wanzu’s reality, LOVE was seeing the clouds at the Odyssean airship when Frankie approached her and asked her for a way to fix the plague hurting her world since there was a good chance they would not win the Tournament. LOVE offered to create a Frankie clone, but they were interrupted by Wanzu who asked them if they were spying, given that they were near where the Light Magic Club was training. Although the situation was tense, in the end Wanzu gave LOVE a pocket dimension to help them, and LOVE got inside it along with the clone she made of Frankie to study it and the plague. Frankie then gave the dimension cube to Dylan to watch over. Later, the Light Magic Club were fishing and Ocapon asked Wanzu why did she join the tournament given she could have anything with her power. Wanzu replied she wondered herself - she was everything and could do everything but needed to decide and find her own reason. A day later, a worried Frankie wanted to check on the alternate dimension made by LOVE given that there was no response inside. Having snuck into the ship to steal cheese from them, Gouda hid from Ludwig and tripped, ultimately falling into a room where the schismed version of Frankie tried to eat her. Breaking through the door, Dylan came to the rescue only to find Kome had teleported to the ship to rescue Gouda - Kome explained she was not to blame and that she had no reason to attack Odyssey given that the Gamemaster had made Wanzu Frankie’s opponent anyways, and left with her teammate. Then, the battle finally began in the Bucket. An extremely bishoned-up Berbie explained then the rules, and Wanzu entered the arena in her top divine form, opening a rift through dimensions, while the schisming Frankie was brought by the gnomes in a cage. Wanzu prepared to face Frankie with a smile then, while staring at you, the person reading this article. How are you?. Frankie then tried to read Wanzu’s mind, but all she found was absence of dreams or desires and wondered why she couldn’t pry further. Lamenting Frankie’s pitiful state, Wanzu gave her an offer: of power over everyone. Though Frankie attacked the divine Wanzu in vain, Wanzu observed Frankie’s mind was too broken to understand her offer and thus she would first make her go through heaven and hell countless times to allow her to choose her own state of mind first and whether to take the power offered. Frankie was then transported through dimensions, and eventually woke up as her human self in an empty void, then back to her office in what seemingly was her world, where her “patient” (cat Wanzu) appeared and began asking her questions, like why she ultimately refused to go with her plan of limiting human evil and greed. Frankie replied it equaled to taking free will, with Wanzu denouncing free will was used to wage wars. Frankie then replied she hoped the right choice would be taken at some point, and the goddess scoffed at the idea, mentioning the hope from Pandora’s Box, calling hope a curse of human naivety. Frankie however argued Wanzu was nobody to say that and that hope could be there too to seal the evils of humanity back. The cat goddess replied she said so because she had the power to make it true, to dictate what was reality and what was right or wrong, and so would Frankie too. Frankie replied she just wished to be like any human, and Wanzu said that true power had also the possibility of taking away itself. She offered Frankie to accept or reject. Back in the arena, only ten seconds had passed, with Wanzu having surrounded everything with cosmic smoke that made things impossible to see - however, Berbie detected Frankie’s life signals had vanished and declared Wanzu’s victory. In the Odyssey ship, having finished her work, LOVE used her own cosmic dust to return to where Frankie was, and found her seemingly dead on Wanzu’s arms. As the saddened spectators solemnly left the arena, Dylan turned around to see a healed Frankie, waving at him with a sad smile.
In Frankie’s winning reality, Tenebris took on the role of Berbie given that the landlord was occupied suppressing the Nuremberg rebellion, and he introduced the two mismatched opponents. Seeing what she had to face, Frankie decided to quietly quit, the only power and liberty given to her in the situation, but this attracted the Gamemaster’s ire, who then simply appeared in the arena and forced schisming into the otter girl in order for her to reach her “maximum potential”. Ocapon then explained to Odyssey the wizard had used a simple spell to dampen Frankie’s ego; sinking into despair, Frankie screamed and mentally broke right as the match began, becoming her schism self. The Gamemaster then sent the maddened otter against the goddess, stating her purpose was solely to entertain him. The fight then began, Lurker noting even with this transformation, the matchup was unfair. The Gamemaster admitted it was, and that it was Frankie’s destiny to lose: he revealed then his purpose was to punish Bernard for his aiding the rebellion and Frankie was merely a tool of this and his entertainment. The battle had then begun, with Frankie flying towards Wanzu and draining the liquid from the goddess, creating a devastating blast of water that had no effect whatsoever. The goddess then trapped Frankie in a sphere, and asked her if she could speak, to which Frankie revealed she could - when asked about what had happened, Frankie stated she had seen the truth and schismed, the truth being that living was despair and of the self’s destruction. She had looked through the experiences she had at the tournament, and how it all seemed designed to give her hope yet ending up leaving her feeling in more despair than before - however, even though she gained her new power, it was useless as she could not see anything from Wanzu’s mind and all she could do was to wait for the end. Wanzu asked then the otter if she wanted to schism, with Frankie not replying and wondering why Wanzu even cared - this made the sphinx laugh, and note that despite the rumors she was not as nefarious as people believed. She had noticed Frankie wanted to quit and wondered if staying to fight was truly her decision. Frankie admitted she wanted to quit to avoid schisming, and with a sad look, Wanzu then thanked her and readied her Red Arm of Destruction. She surprisingly aimed her attack then not at Frankie, but at the Gamemaster, who only had a moment to be angered at the rebellion before horribly melting at the molecular level on his seat. Wanzu chided the Gamemaster for enjoying the Crab’s suffering and making such an unfair match, then used the Arms of Order to restore Frankie to her pre-schism self. The announcers then interrupted the match, saying they would have to wait until the Gamemaster returned, although Wanzu gloated he would return when she desired, and that if the tournament were to end they would at least take out the element of despair. Kindly being left back on the arena, Frankie noted no one had cured schism before and thanked the goddess, who replied she was just happy Frankie was herself once again.
After Crab 3
After (B)rat Pack won the Wish, Wanzu became an advisor for the new gods, owing to her many years of experience. She is seen in Kome’s epilogue advising Wietse to not forget his roots, while holding a staff made with Victory Man’s soul, who seems happily infatuated. Wanzu created as well a pocket alternate reality in which her team won the tournament, for the fun of it.
Relationships
Life Within CRAB
The 𓀱𓁜𓂂𓁿𓂚𓀗 CURSE OF WANZU. 𓀱𓁜𓂂𓁿𓂚𓀗 was a mysterious curse that resulted to any CRAB fighting or planning to fight her, which would result in their artist dropping from the tournament under mysterious circumstances. Teresa, Micheal, LOVE were victims of such power, but ultimately Frankie managed to overcome. Some say the bounce-effect from the powerful curse is what obliterated team Light Magic Club in the final round.
She was hit on by a depressed Awesoman once at a party, but told him to be careful.
Given that the actual official result of her canon match with Frankie was not shown but she received no gold, seemingly regular otter Frankie somehow beat Wanzu. I’m not being serious but imagine.
Gallery
Gallery
Trivia
- She has no belly button.
- Although we use “she”, by concept Wanzu is a genderless being. (Or can be any gender she wants).
- She did not appear in her sphinx form as near as much as I would have liked.
Source
Text: CRAB WIKI, Wanzu (revision 1731, 2025-02-08; by Fresbi, Writer-sama)
Pictures: Wanzu.png, uploaded to the wiki by Fresbi
Edited by: G
Licence: text CC BY-SA 4.0; characters, comics and art belong to their creators
