Harry Chamberland
Worst Guy You Know
Field Value Full Name Harry Chamberland Alias Gender Male Age Unknown World Unknown Occupation Journalist Status Deceased (killed by the Gamemaster) Role Participant Team Stuffed Crust Crusaders Edition Crab 3 Creator
WHAT? ARE YOU SOME KIND OF RETARD?
Harry Chamberland is a participant of Crab 3, working for the team Stuffed Crust Crusaders. A soulless, heartless (literally) cannibal reporter of his own News Broadcast Company, SKUNK (unrelated to the animal skunk), Harry is an amoral and somewhat insane individual joining the tournament to uncover the best and craziest news.
Appearance
Personality
He is a bit of a psychotic asshole, although he can behave normally and you can converse with him.
Self described as racist. Hates the government. Never brushes his teeth nor washes his hands.
Although intelligent, he is very impatient and quick to build anger and brutality. He is openly hostile to people he meets, although those who already know him and can endure his endless slurs can hang with him.
Powers and Abilities
Harry’s left arm (from his perspective) contains a magic seal allowing him to cast an anti-magic spell from a Wizard he made a contract with. The spell is not his, and as such, Harry can cast it in limitless fashion: it allows him to absorb any kind of magic ability and to neutralize its powers. However, precisely due to it not being his spell, it’s very limited in power and can only absorb so much magic before running out of capacity.
Harry’s right arm (from his perspective) contains a seal as well, that allows him to summon a sword that falls from the sky into his hand. He almost never makes use of that power, preferring to wield his claws for battle.
Harry seems to have some level of superhuman strength, being able to lift a man and throw him with enough force to have him be torn apart in the landing. His lack of soul also means he is immune to most spiritual-based techniques.
Background
History
Round 1
Tripp Rosewood (won, entry) vs Harry Chamberland (lost, entry) in Fabricate/Expose The Truth. Match page: C3 R1 - Tripp vs Harry
In Centuria, Tripp joined the Forest Alliance while Harry joined the Brotherhood of Shadows.
In Harry’s reality, Luigi contacted Harry and asked him to discover a big secret being hidden by the Forest Alliance. Harry began reporting on the forest in a news broadcast and killed two random faeries through it. He was later detained by the captain of the elite elven guard, who thought him an imperial spy, and asked what his sunglasses were. Harry called him a retard and then int: 1, which offended the elf enough to challenge the crab to a duel. Harry killed the elf and took his clothes and the tips of his ears to disguise himself - then met a smoking Tripp along with some Crabs and elves by the forest. Tripp offered him a smoke, and after taking a hit Harry threw the cigarette near a cabin where Wietse was, making it explode. Tripp asked who Harry was and he pretended to be the captain, to which a relieved Tripp responded that was good since he could not give outsiders that smoke - a secret mana weed with which the Forest planned to win the war by stopping the Empire’s industrial revolution. Fed up with how one of the stoner elves spoke, Harry grabbed him by the throat and killed him by launching him against Der Baum so hard the elf tore into pieces. He then thanked Tripp and they kissed. The reporting ended with Harry assuring the viewers he had thought of everything and that the trail of destruction he left was part of a plan of his (and him having carved a crude drawing of Florida Man on Der Baum.)
In Tripp’s canon reality, Harry had been contacting Tripp for information. Visiting him in the forest one day - and getting some nicotine from the delinquent, Harry started to feel distrustful of the intel he had been receiving as it had not been useful in the last exchanges. He decided Tripp was a retard and that he would kill him now, but was interrupted by Tripp saying he didn’t even remember the information (lies) Harry gave him. Harry angrily shouted the Empire troops were heading west, confessing a truth he did not intend to - after making Harry spell out all the information, Tripp revealed he had laced the nicotine with a truth shroom, although it only worked if they both smoked him, and assured Harry he would not die from it. Furious, Harry attacked Tripp, and damaged him, but could not finish him before falling due to the drug. A bit hurt and also starting to feel the effects of the shroom, Tripp ended up fainting as well.
Round 2
Moses (won, entry) vs Harry Chamberland (lost) in Idols. Match page: C3 R2 - Moses vs Harry
In Japan, Moses rejuvenated himself with the age elixir. And I think Harry became older, I’m not sure.
In Harry’s reality, they both hung together.
In Moses’s canon reality, Moses began beating the shit out of Tenebris for supposedly manipulating the votes on the previous round, with Tenebris wondering if Moses was retarded. Tired from the fight, he drank the age elixir and became young again. He then met Harry at a bar along with Lustless, and brought a younger Soren for him to whom he explained his teachings. Lustless took a liking to Soren and wanted to keep him with her, with Moses telling her Soren was actually old and a womanizer. Dizzy appeared, and offered them drinks, but Harry replied he could not get drunk due to being undead. Seeing this, Moses used his powers on a terrified Harry and healed him, allowing him to enjoy drinking again - an hour later they were both drunk and conversing at the bar, while Lustless took Soren to “play doctor”. They wondered if Kome and Hime got nude in front of the other, discussed boobs, crocodiles being evil, they smoked and kept drinking. Lustless at some point removed her panties and said she was ready for her check-up.
Round 3
Admiral Pizza (lost, entry) vs Luigi and Stuffed Crust Crusaders (won, entry). Match page: C3 R3 - Admiral Pizza vs Luigi and Stuffed Crust Crusaders
In the Admiral’s reality, the Admiral faced the team in a Pizza eating contest out of anger of being left out from the Pizza team - both Luigi and the Admiral had participated in the American wars and considered each other enemies. The Crusaders began falling one after the other - Davok threw himself off the Bucket over believing himself a monster after eating too much pizza, Harry due to being caught cheating using a raccoon to eat the pizza for him, Morgan due to the pizza oil deactivating her nanomachines which she was also using to cheat, Celia not being able to handle so much sausage, and Vera dying in the timeskip with a robot skeleton she had left to eat for her running out of batteries. The Admiral messed with Luigi by eating pizza two-handed or cooling wine with ice, offending his Italian sensibilities. In the end, aeons passed as Luigi and the Admiral ate all the pizza in the world -there was no more food-, Soren became a survivor in a post apocalyptic world and went through seven timeskips, and ultimately realizing their war had ruined the world, both pizza men decided to make peace and forgive each other for their participation in the Civil War. As an angered Berbie demanded to see blood, Centurion then killed him with a punch, while Luigi and the Admiral shook hands and decided to just play videogames next.
In Luigi’s canon reality, the Bucket had been filled with sand and Luigi activated the headquarters battlemode, launching two tanks with his team to hunt down the Admiral who went at them on his own (he represented the American pizza flag while they were the Soviet pizzacutter flag). The Crusaders spent a night camping preparing for battle, Harry looking at his furry girlfriend, Morgan at her fangirl, Davok drinking gasoline and Celia running out of booze. Later Berbie waited, and noticed the fight had begun, the tanks shooting at the Admiral who dodged the bullets. Morgan put her nanites on the next shot, and when the Admiral dodged it they grabbed him. Using his arm power then, Harry summoned not a sword but a giant pizza cutter against the Admiral, who punched it back at the man destroying the tank where Harry and Vera were in. Vera and Celia then began to shoot at him, with no effect - the distraction allowed Morgan to run and punch him in the stomach, launching him towards Davok who uppercut him and used his power to send him flying at max speed towards another pizza cutter summoned by Harry - with this combination, the Admiral was finally defeated and gave up, and the team saluted their leader Luigi. Meanwhile, a dejected Berbie gave a sigh as he was expecting for them to arrive to a regular pizza making competition.
Mishka (won, entry) vs Harry Chamberland (lost). Match page: C3 R3 - Mishka vs Harry
In Round 3, Mishka joined the Rebellion efforts against the Gamemaster, even participating in the assault at Nuremberg and the rescue of the prisoners. Using Harry’s support and cameras, she declared to the entire Tournament the desire to prove the Gamemaster’s mortality and attack him. Arrested by the gnomes, Harry and Mishka confronted the wizard with files involving his lust for Frankie, his hatless endeavors and other dirt, but the Gamemaster slapped Harry. They then detonated the Gamemaster’s tower alongside many gnomes. As the battles went and Mishka confronted the Gamemaster, he offered her a spot at his side if she quit the rebellion, but Mishka bluntly refused. The wizard responded by siccing Bodycount on her, but before she was eaten, she was saved by the timely intervention of Origami Samurai. Recalling her experiences during the tournament, Mishka ultimately used the Magai Ball given to her by the rebels to destroy Bodycount and the tower and herself with it in an act of rebellion.
After Crab 3
After Mishka’s rebellion, Harry had died to the Gamemaster, and he was not revived by Brat Pack - although an alternate of him is seen chilling with Moses and a crying Godefroy in Kome’s epilogue.
Relationships
Life Within CRAB
He covered news in Centuria.
Had a romance with a lustful deviant Tredecima with a huge cock - they almost made it to the top 3 of CRAB Couples.
Gallery
Gallery
Trivia
- Ever since he lost his soul, he is unable to dream.
- His favorite Pokemon is Dusknoir.
- He had a furry wife, he is an unrepentant furry.
Source
Text: CRAB WIKI, Harry Chamberland (revision 1747, 2025-02-08; by Fresbi)
Pictures: H.png, uploaded to the wiki by Fresbi
Edited by: G
Licence: text CC BY-SA 4.0; characters, comics and art belong to their creators
